Drifting and Reeling

Sometimes I like to feel that I’ve managed to master life or at least get it down pretty well. Of course after a small amount of time feeling that way life decides to let me know that I have in fact not mastered life and sends me reeling. It can happen in various ways, either in the studio or at work and currently with my personal life. I had thought that I had this whole social life thing down, and quite frankly even having one while working upwards of fifty hours a week is an accomplishment in my mind. Apparently I was wrong as all of a sudden it seems that while I’m getting closer to Mitch some of my closest friends and I are drifting. The worst part is that it smarts sorely watching it happen and being too plain stubborn to fix it. Social Media then puts salt in the wound as I see pictures that I would normally be in online without my smiling mug. I truly care for these people and I don’t like drifting away from them, however, I’m not entirely to blame. A relationship, any relationship, is a two way street and takes work from both ends to be healthy and properly functioning. Perhaps we need a mediator as we both happen to be incredibly stubborn and strong people, or perhaps we just need to take a break. I’m not sure of what to do and right now it just hurts quite a bit to think or deal with it- and that tells me I have a problem on my hands.

On the horse front I’m afraid that between my back acting up, poor weather and just sheer exhaustion I’ve only made it to the barn a couple of times this week. I feel out of sorts not riding as frequently and that leads to dreading the school year in which I’ll be lucky to even see any quadruped let alone ride. The rides I did get in were half good. The first ride went well and we even jumped a little bit. The second ride I only put in about a half hour on Pi. I felt off and he felt off and somehow we couldn’t steer so I made the executive decision to end the ride before something poor resulted from it. I’m going to ride more this next week (just not today because the weather is absolutely foul) and even hopefully go on a trail ride this next week with some girls from the barn.

On a studio note (yes I finally am having studio stuff happen again!) I’ve decided to step up and join the MECA art sale. It benefits scholarships at my school and I’ll actually be selling work which is exciting, or at least I’ll be trying to sell work. The sale should take place in October so I should have my act together at least a little bit.

On a life note I’m learning how lacrosse works and to throw the ball around. Mitch and his family are pretty phenomenal to watch and the sport seems fascinating. I got to help them put a new net in the goal. I was happily anal retentive with making it look perfect and so Mitch’s Dad and I were two-peas-in-a-pod matching the net and counting out spaces between zip ties.

boom! perfection

Camp has been quite the week. We went to Lake Sunapee and had an absolute blast. I’m enjoying my staff and all of the wonderful skills they bring to the camp. Apparently they feel comfortable enough with me to tell me to take a deep breath when I get  “that look on my face”. We ended with an awesome impromptu field day where in which I played super hero to one of my campers, who happens to be a type 1 diabetic, and replaced their port for their pump. The kid also happens to be just about one of the coolest kiddos and I love spending time with them. From spending time with them and another camper who also happens to have a pump I’ve learned just how amazing the pumps are. The insulin pumps gives these kids such a range of freedom and control over their life and I find it fantastic. I also had a couple of little friends over the past couple of days. A kid brought some action figures to camp and so they had to spend the past few days with me as we have a no toy policy at camp. He was worried about them so I promised that they would have fun at camp too and that I’d take pictures as evidence.

Han Solo, Chewbacca and C3PO and I had quite the adventure

and yes the staff shirts are really really bright

Beautiful Moments and Book Submissions

Okay, I know, it’s Tuesday and not Monday. I’m afraid I had my post all written on my mobile app and then accidently closed the app without saving my post. After that I didn’t quite feel like rewriting the post and was a bit occupied.
It’s been another week full of moments. I’ve begun realizing that being in Italy affected me more than I realized. I find that after living in a place so imbued with history and art that instead of turning on my blinders in my environments I’m more aware my surroundings. I pay attention to the details more and more (I know I didn’t think it was possible for this very detail oriented person) even in the places that I spend quite a bit of time in. In Vermont with all of the quirky things placed around I’m finding myself falling more and more in love with Vermont and all of the small moments I find. In spending time with a very significant person, we were driving in Thetford and I happened to see up in a tree a sculpture of a lizard with a vibrant red heart atop it. Those small quirky things indear Vermont to me more, and more and make me realize that I want to spend my life here. I loved Italy and those will be some of the most precious moments of my life, however, Vermont is home-and more importantly my home.

the someone special, Mitch, and I at the rodeo this past weekend

Pirate and I have been doing well. I’ll admit that between being exhausted from work, poor weather (part of the indoor is currently occupied by hay and construction materials and Pi’s butt is too big) and a new relationship I haven’t been riding as much. When I have been riding I feel that Pi and I have been having a better connection. from the lesson I took with Amanda I feel that she’s given me another couple of tools that are vastly paying off. I’ve been focusing on keeping the proper pressure in my outside rein and relaxing and giving with my inner rein. Combined with using my inner leg to help round Pi and drive him into my outer rein and leaning back farther we’re suddenly keeping much more connection and he’s rounding and lowering his head into the bit and my hands. We’ve also been jumping again. He’s begun to realize that jumping is something that can be done in a relaxed fashion without fussing and being overly excited. We also had the rewarding moment when while warming up we explored a little trail and he calmly perused it with me. Normally he gets fussy on the trail so this was a big win for us!

hand-grazing Pi after a much needed hosing down

On another exciting note I’ve made my first artist book submission. It’s validating as a maker and an artist to submit to the book. I submitted  a horsehair necklace (surprise it’s horse related!) that I had made this past fall in my introduction to the discipline class at MECA.

Untitled 2014

horsehair and freshwater pearl

I’m super nervous to find out if I’ve been accepted. The book is being published out of a publishing house in Barcelona (yes Barcelona SPAIN). It’ll be a book of over 500 necklaces from around the world and I’d be ecstatic to be accepted into the book. If I am accepted I’ll be given a copy of the book and will just have to worry about shipping cost from Barcelona, which I’ll gladly do.

Away For a While

I have to apologize for not keeping up with the blog the past few weeks. I’m afraid that with the start of camp things have turned rather hectic and unfortunately blogging has drawn the short straw in my current priorities. The past few weeks have had a lot of highs and lows. Pi came up partially lame with an old stifle injury flaring up and leaving me to recover while he did.
I did get a lesson in on Mac. We did some dressage and then some jumping. It was nice to get a lesson in on another horse, however, I missed riding Pi. The funny part of riding Mac was that I grabbed Pi to groom him after and while I was spending time with Mac Pi fussed about in his stall. It makes me giggle that Pi was a bit jealous and also makes me feel loved.

Pi being a supermodel

Pirate has since gotten better and we’ve been working a lot on our connection at the trot. I must abashedly admit that I’ve developed a bad habit of over compensating with my inside rein. Amanda and I focused on worrying about my outside rein and the connection created there rather than me inadvertently forcing Pi’s head. In the past couple of lessons I’ve been working on staying farther back in the saddle. It’s amazing how much of a difference that an inch makes while riding and it reminds me of just how sensitive my partners are. I know it can seems a little bit silly to see an animal as a partner, but trust me- if Pi or any of the other horses I catch a ride on here or there didn’t want to be ridden I would be on the ground with a sore bum. Either way every time a small error on my part is resolved and I see such a huge result immediately I’m reminded why riding is a sport I love so much. I found the immediate result of becoming less forward that Pi, being the big boy that he is, is able to lower his head and come under and into himself and all of a sudden I have a horse in my hands. Amanda’s also finally left the barn to have her baby. I had the honor of being her last lesson on Monday night. I felt that it was pretty stellar and Pi and I even jumped deliberately and without rushing. It was a big step in the right direction even if we were just jumping baby rails.

all nice and clean after a bath

Camp has been a roller coaster these past four weeks. While I love my job these kids are demanding and challenging. Some of the kids make me want to have children instantly; they’re wonderful and make me see the magic in the world. Other kids make me absolutely petrified that if I, and hopefully my imaginary future husband, mess up that we’ll have been responsible for another one of “those kids”. Some of the kids I know it isn’t parenting and is just a chance of fate that resulted in a kid that doesn’t fit within the ideals of our highly judgmental society. Perhaps I’m more sensitive to how it feels to be a kid that didn’t fit, but when I hear say “as long as it’s happy and healthy” I wonder why it can’t just be “happy”. So often we talk without fully thinking and intending what we say, I’m included in this as well. Words carry power and so often we don’t think about the full weight they carry. Okay rant over. I suppose that I’ll just leave it at it being a summer that’s going to give me a lot of learning experience.

a rare hair down moment while lifeguarding

I have been lucky enough to have some amazing co-workers that are ready to tackle whatever comes next. I’m also lucky to have some really amazing friends who know just how to make me laugh. My friends are the people who help to keep me sane, laughing and even- dare I say it, relaxed. When things get crazy its when I’m grateful for these wonderful people in my life.

myself and one of my crazy co-workers